This is not stuffy schoolmarmishness. This is, for now at least, the way standard written English is supposed to work.
You said it, NYT.
Philip B. Corbett’s refresher course is designed for those who, like me, still get confused by the who/whom distinction : is it just for indirect objects (to whom) or any object at all? Sometimes speaking three other languages just makes it more confusing to remember the rules (or lack of them) in English.
Head over to After Deadline, the Times’ occasional behind-the-scenes blog, for some great examples.